Sunday, December 2

Seriously,Who Critiques A Funeral?

                   I have to write another entry about Some of the Elderly at "The Estate" They mean well but are really to much sometimes(Gotta love them).Sandra age 89(mentioned in the last entry) Asked me to escort her to a Funeral.The funeral was to be held at 4 p.m across the parking lot in the Church that owns "The Estates" If you read my blog you know  I've gone to, way to many funerals in my life.And have a hard time going .But I agreed to escort her.I got to her apartment at 3p.m. She was dressed very nice.Waiting for me in her scooter.
                         "Your late we need to get to the funeral"She says staring at her watch.
                         "Sandra we are fine, its a five minute walk and three minutes, if we are going by scooter."I replied trying to make a joke........ "Well come on, we have people waiting in the lobby,They want to go with us" She looked  at her watch again and made a bee line for the front door.The funeral we were attending, None of us knew the Woman except that, her daughter is a waitress at The Estates and wewere told her Mother had passed away in her sleep.She was only 54.She had been sick awhile.(Very sad,) The residents wanted to show there support.
                                 So we get to the lobby, I'm not kidding five people on Scooters were waiting and ready to go,. Along with four people with walkers.Sandra looking at her watch.AGAIN "Come everybody we are going to be late"She yells. Hazel(eyes closed, choir director in my last entry) "We are waiting on Bob, he wanted to go with us so he doesn't get lost" Its in the parking lot 500 feet away people. I thought to myself..Sandra insist everyone head on over."Its rude to arrive to funeral late".She says with authority. Then she turns her scooter on and leads the gang on over.We get to the Church.Its a huge Church,the Family sitting in the front three rows.Its very quite.No music nothing. Me feeling very uncomfortable.Walking in with this huge group of elderly people on Scooters,&Walkers (Dont get me wrong.I know growing old isn't easy) Everyone of them talking loudly thinking they're whispering And believe me they were not."I said Sandra lets sit back" ."OH no I want to sit up close to see the body" Then she accidentally  hits the horn on her Scooter and it echos thru the Church like an Amtrak train.Then she yells to me."I cant get up out of my scooter,Ill park here in the middle row." She glances over at the coffin.Says to the others.She just Doesn't look good dead",I wanted to crawl under the pew. Then she looks at her watch. AGAIN. "Minister should of started by now,where is he? An usher hands her a program guide.She opens it...... deep sigh "small print, I cant read this.Here read it to me""I will later Sandra.later"

                            The minister enters thru the side door,looks over and smiles.I can tell this is probably his first funeral.He gestures upstairs to the sound room to start the music.The sound system blast.Sandra screams "MY LORD,Was was that?"and some of the family members jump.I began to pray Dear God help me.........They show a slide show of the Women's life.I can see Sandra in the dark looking at her watch sighing. After what seemed like eternity(in reality it was half an hour).The Minister concluded with a prayer and said there is food in the dining hall , please head over and eat. Several of us sat together,we ate and fellow shipped.In walked Bob,Am I late?"No one said a word.Then Sandra spoke up," It was such a lovely funeral wasn't it?I about fell out off my chair.Elderly people You gotta love them.


  1. I think you also need to have patience to work with them and I';m sure you have lots of that John!


  2. Good of you to escort them. Funny entry but I know it's true. I'm heading to that age but I hope I can keep my ducks in a row.